#But I find their similarities just as good

[infimace-blog]

Keep coming back to this and thinking about the asker's perception of the Weatherlight Saga, because it's definitely not free of 'identity first' storytelling.

Tahngarth's entire plotline revolves around his identity as a minotaur, a racial characteristic in Dominaria. He's forced to question whether he's still himself, still a minotaur after Phyrexia captures and disfigures him, and the payoff for that is that a minotaur tribe starts decorating themselves after his new, distorted form when he helps rescue them from Phyrexia later on. So, you know, having identity issues during a apocalypse, like having a gender crisis during a Bolas invasion.

Mirri was discriminated against for having heterochromia, forcing her to leave her birth family. The desire to belong weighs on her so much that one of her big choices is whether to abandon her best friend and secret love for another tribe of catpeople who do respect her. It's less of a factor in her story than her doomed love for Gerrard, but, frankly, her willingness to get herself killed over a nice white boy for whom she was third-place (after Hanna and Rofellos) makes a lot more sense if if you take abandonment and isolation issues into account.

Maybe the asker didn't notice because these identity issues were put on the non-human side characters. But, you know, they were still there. They're some of my favorite parts of the Weatherlight Saga to talk about, besides the competition to become evincar and Urza's bizarre behavior. And while this happened with funny animal people, the structure is analogous to things the anti-woke crowd would hate. Tahngarth's identity issues are reminiscent of those of black people living in largely white societies. And there's a lot of people under the 'DEI' banner who've had to deal with getting kicked out of their home for being born wrong, often queer or disabled or neuroatypical people.

This is how you give characters good storylines, especially with Magic's limited ability to get the story in front of people who just play the cards. You find an aspect of themselves that they care deeply about, something fairly obvious and easy to communicate, and see how the external world impacts that. And we're still seeing that now. Chandra's putting herself through death-defying adventure in Aetherdrift because it might help her lover, and her love for her is a major part of her identity. Tone's certainly different than the lovelorn motivations of Mirri or Gerrard or Ertai over the course of the Weatherlight Saga, but it's the same building blocks.

I think more of that kind of characterization would have been beneficial for Sisay, honestly. I can't speak for Mark or Michael, but I've never really been interested in her because most of her story is about what she does rather than who she is. Gerrard bores me for similar reasons; I find it difficult to get a read on his personality besides 'heroic' and 'white savior'. It strikes me that the two greatest heroes of that era were raised and, in one case, born from Jamuraa, Dominaria's stand-in for Africa, but that never really comes up in the saga. Gerrard's background exists to give him an evil black stepbrother and the most important part of Sisay's is growing up owning the Weatherlight - I generally forget that she even fought in the Mirage Wars.

So yeah, I think anyone on the same page as the guy who asked this is not interested in getting good stories out of Magic. I'm regularly unimpressed by Magic's story output over the past decade, but I can't tolerate anybody who thinks the answer to that is 'make the characters less interesting. Shave their identities down'.

I want to speak out against the whole push towards DEI. I feel that ever since you made the push to make identity the forefront of a character it has hurt the stories you tell. Captain Sisay's race was never the focus of her character and she was a complete badass! And I fear if you did it over again Gerrard would be trans, black and disabled just because. It also cheapens the stories of world devastation when characters worry more about their gender than Bolas destroying everything.

The reason I started this blog is so we can have frank conversations about things, so please let’s talk about this.

Imagine if every time you turned on the TV or watched a movie, no one looked like you. For some of us, that’s never happened. We see ourselves constantly, so it’s hard to truly understand what not seeing yourself represented in media is like.

I do have a personal window to this experience. While I am white and male, there’s an area where I am the minority - my religion. Jews are just under two and a half percent of the US population. I have had many experiences where I’ve been in situations where everything is geared towards a group I do not belong to, and zero consideration is given that not everyone at that event is part of the majority.

You just feel invisible and like an outsider. It’s not a great feeling. And I just experience it a tiny portion of time, only things that are geared specifically towards something religious. Most minorities have this feeling all the time, whenever they’re outside their personal community.

Now imagine, after years of not seeing yourself ever, you finally see someone that looks like you, but nothing about the character rings remotely true. They don’t sound like you, they don’t act like you, the facts about their day-to-day life are just wrong. It’s clear whoever wrote the character didn’t truly understand the lived experience of the character, so the character feels fake.

You bring up Sisay. Michael Ryan and I didn’t technically create Sisay (she played a small role in the Mirage story), but we did do a lot to flesh out her character as the creators of the Weatherlight Saga. We turned her from a minor character into a major one.

And while I’m proud, in general, of our work on the Weatherlight Saga, I don’t think we did justice to Sisay as a character. Neither Michael nor I have any knowledge of what it’s like to be a black woman. Nor did we ever talk to someone who did.

And if you’re someone like us that has no knowledge of that experience, you probably didn’t notice. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

Imagine if we made a movie about your life, and we just made everything up. We invented people you never knew, we gave you a job you never had, and we had you say things you’d never say. The movie might even be a good movie, but your response would be, but that’s not my life - that’s not me.

Now imagine we put the movie out, and people that never met you assumed that was what you were like. When people met you for the first time, they assumed things, because, you know, they’d seen the movie.

That’s what misrepresenting people does. It not only makes them feel not seen, it falsely represents them, spreading lies, often stereotypes, making people believe things about them that aren’t true.

Our move towards diversity is just us trying to better reflect the world and the people in it. We’re trying to do to everyone else what a certain portion of people get every day without ever having to think about it.

But why are we “making it the forefront of their character”? We’re not. We’re making it a part of their character. But in a world where you’re not used to ever seeing it, it feels louder than it is. Things that are a natural part of the world that you’re used to feel like the background of the story because you understand the context to it.

If a man kisses his wife before going off to a battle, that’s not a big deal. It’s just a thing a husband might do to his wife when he leaves. It’s not the forefront of his character. It’s just part of his life. But you’ve seen it hundreds of times, so it feels normal.

When someone does something that isn’t your lived experience it pulls focus. It seems like a big deal, but only because it’s new to you. It’s just as mundane a thing to that character as the man kissing his wife is to him.

Even the turn “pushing” implies that it’s unnaturally here, that we’re forcing something that naturally shouldn’t be. But why? That thing exists naturally in the real world, and it doesn’t make the real world any less. Maybe you’re less aware of it, but is making you aware of how others live their life “pushing” something on you?

How you live your life is represented constantly, everywhere. Why isn’t over-representing your experience at the expense of everyone else’s “pushing” it? Why is media only being the experience of those in power the “proper way”?

Having more depth and variety doesn’t lessen stories. It makes them deeper, more rich, more nuanced. In short, it makes them better stories. In my former life, I was a professional writer. I took a lot of writing classes. One of the truism of writing is “speaking truth leads to better stories”.

There’s another famous quote: “When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” You’re used to being over-represented, so being a little less over-represented feels like something has been taken from you. But really it hasn’t. Having a better sense of the rest of the world comes with a lot of benefits.

I’ll use food as an example. Let’s say all you were ever exposed to was the food of your heritage. Yeah, that food is really good, but sometimes isn’t it nice to eat foods of other nationalities? Isn’t your life better that you have a choice? Isn’t your exposure and access to the food of other nationalities a positive in your life?

Exposure to variety is a positive. It allows you to learn about things you didn’t know, experience things things you’ve never experienced, and get a better sense of understanding of your friends and neighbors.

Our actions are not to harm anyone, and if you think that’s what we’re doing, please take a minute to actually absorb what I’m saying. You’ve spent your whole life metaphorically eating one type of food, and we’re just trying to show you how much you’ve missed out on.

And while this might not impact you directly, we’re making a whole bunch of people felt seen. We’re bringing joy. Think of it this way. We make a lot of cards. Not every card is for you. But if it makes someone else happy, if they get to include it in a deck, and it makes Magic better for them, how is it harming you that we include it? You have so many cards that you can play.

To this poster or people that share their viewpoint, the narrative that a gain for someone else is an attack on you is just not true. As I just pointed out above, you play a game all about personal choice, about players getting to choose how they play and enjoy the game. Why should life be any different than Magic?

Thanks for reading.

[empress-ghoul]

You’ve gotten good at getting a sense for these sorts of things. A feeling in your chest, a twist in your gut, a sixth sense, if you will. You think you’d prefer your sixth sense to be seeing ghosts, rather than sensing when creepy men are going to approach you.

You just wanted a drink. It had been a long fucking day at work and you just wanted a drink without worrying about actually talking to people. That was why you sat at the end of the bar.

Maybe you should have just bought a bottle of wine on the way home. Your sixth sense had told you that going into the bar was a bad idea. At least then this guy wouldn’t be talking to you.

He was attractive at least, but you couldn’t be in less of a mood and he was practically sitting on top of you.

“Rough day?” he asked.

Your eye nearly twitched. “Something like that.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “I can tell.”

And he was rude. Cherry on top.

You rolled your eyes and shot him a glare, your lip curling slightly into a snarl. “Yeah,” you mimic. “You don’t look too hot either, asshole.”

Cash is handed to the bartender and you reach for your bag. He beats you to it, gripping the strap in an iron hold. Indignation rises. Part of you wants to wrestle it back, but the other part knows you’d just end up embarrassing yourself.

“We got off on the wrong foot,” he begins. “I’m Johnny—“

“I’m not interested. Bag. Now.”

You hold your hand out, but something tells you he’s not the type to listen.

That feeling is confirmed when he laughs. Yet another cherry on top.

“How about this; I buy you a drink and you get your bag back after?”

There’s a beat of silence where you nearly laugh. Was he serious? You’re about to ask him when he’s suddenly ordering for you and holding your bag in his lap.

You had to bargain with your tired mind, telling yourself that you were getting a free drink out of this. Frustrated, yet resigned, you sit back down.

He grins at you and your sixth sense prickles the back of your neck.

Johnny was good at talking and part of you almost felt bad. He seemed lonely. You were certain only a lonely, mildly insane person would steal a purse and buy the purse owner a drink just to have someone to talk to.

But you were lonely too. Only a lonely, mildly insane person would let him buy more drinks after getting their purse back.

You barely noticed the hand on your thigh. By the time you did, he was right in your face.

“Bonnie thing, aren’t you?” he purred.

That’s how you ended up getting tugged back to his apartment. He kept an arm around your waist and your bag in his hand the entire walk. Right outside the door, when his hand was on the doorknob, you realized how bad of an idea this was.

One night stands weren’t exactly your thing, especially not on a weeknight. You had a little bit of dignity, after all.

Plus, your sixth sense practically vibrated in your chest to tell you to turn and run. But suddenly the door was open and he was pushing you inside.

The door shut and locked behind you both, and suddenly you were standing in front of a wall of a man. Your throat tightened when you felt Johnny’s arms around your waist, trapping you in place.

“What’d you think, LT?” Johnny asked, squeezing you tighter.

He sounded so eager, so hopefully.

You stared up at the man in front of you. He looked…bored? Almost uninterested. Similar to a wolf who caught a meal too easily.

Despite being tipsy on the walk from the bar to here, you were suddenly stone cold sober and frozen in place.

A massive hand gripped your jaw, tilting your head up. A calloused thumb brushed over your bottom lip, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to scream. Only tremble as Johnny rubbed a stubbly cheek against your soft one.

“This the one you told me ‘bout?” the enormous man asked.

Something hard pressed against the fat of your ass as Johnny smiled. “Yeah, the one from the train,” he preened, clearly proud of himself. “Can we keep her?”

Maybe you should have just bought a bottle of wine on the way home.

[mybelovedsylus]

Another day another smutty drabble. You know the drill, no minor interactions please. I’m a Sylus girlie who still quite enjoyed the unhinged Caleb - so I got to thinking. Sylus would definitely want to make sure Caleb knew that you were taken - granted a little OOC cause he likes these intimate moments to be private, but I couldn’t get the idea of him calling Caleb while fucking MC to prove a point… so well that’s what this shit is and that’s your warning. Hope you like it - not edited as always. I'm still working on my smut writing too so forgive me

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Sylus knew he was a possessive motherfucker. Of that he had no doubt, but if he did he knew for sure when he had your ankles draped loosely over his shoulder as your phone dialed next to your head on speakerphone.

"You can not be serious right now," you gasped, hands clutching against nothing as Sylus' evol kept them pinned to the bed. Couldn't have you hanging up prematurely now could we? Not when there was a point to be proven.

"Pipsqueak, what's up?"

Sylus sneered as soon as he picked up, like that wasn’t exactly what his intention was. He looked from the phone to you and raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to respond. As you opened your mouth, he slammed all the way home causing a moan to rip out of your throat, which you were quick to try and muffle by biting down hard on your lip. Sylus looked downright gleeful, the red of his eyes practically glowing.

"You okay over there?" Caleb's voice came through gentle but questioning.

"Ye-yeah, just stubbed my toe?" you gasped out but it sounded unsure. Well now that wouldn't do. Sylus leaned down, essentially folding your knees into your chest, which in turn pushed him even further into you which you couldn't help but groan at. His mouth latched on to your peaked nipple, flicking and tweaking it as his hand reached up to lavish the other with similar attention.

"You must have really stubbed it good, do you need me to bring dinner and some medical aid?" Caleb offers sweetly.

"NO!"

There's silence on the line and you glare as Sylus chokes back a laugh as he leans back, resuming a lazy pace and wiping the hair out of your eyes. The sweet gesture is a stark contrast to the debauchery happening here. Sylus is drawing it out, giving slow lazy thrusts that drag every vein and inch over your sensitive spots, dragging you closer and closer to that precipice. You need Caleb to hang the fuck up before that happens.

"I appreciate the - fuck - offer, but really I'll be okay."

You know it comes out like phone sex, airy and deep, but that's because it's like Sylus can read my mind and is trying to get me over the peak as quick as he can - like he wants Caleb to hear just what he does to me. This possessive motherfucker - but also what does that say about you that you find yourself getting wetter at the idea?

"Uh, okay, was that all you called to tell me? That you stubbed your toe, but otherwise you are fine?" Caleb asked. You could tell he didn't believe a word of what you were trying to sell.

"Mhm," you gasp out as Sylus draws tight circles over your clit, picking up the pace of his thrusts. You are starting to wonder if the slap of skin and the rough slide through your wetness is echoing on the phone like it is in your ears.

"Okay," he draws out, suspicion evident in his tone, "I'm just gonna let you go then."

It's too late though. Between the bruising and pistoning pace,and the flicking of your clit, there's not much you can do to hold it back. You try to bite your lip to hold the noises at bay, but Sylus pulls it free with his other hand. He holds your cheeks in a grasp that holds your mouth open, and you cry his name out as your vision goes white and everything in your body pulls taught with your orgasm. He laughs breathlessly, leaning down to suck at the skin of your neck. He turns his head slightly towards the phone, groaning out your name as his hips stutter and he meets you at the peak. He leans more deeply on you, keeping the two of you joined as he reaches over for the phone.

"Aw, looks like your “gege” hung up," he mutters, tossing your phone off the bed as he looks down at you with what you can only say is a boyish smile.

"You are such a possessive asshole, oh my god, how am I ever supposed to look him in the eye again?"

"You can protest all you want, but you were gushing- looks to me like my kitten might have a bit of an exhibitionist in her," Sylus responds with a sly grin, his hand giving a lazy tweak to your overabused clit that makes you jump. You try to pull away and he makes a tsk noise as he follows, ensuring he remains firmly within the snug confines of your walls.

"Where do you think you're going, when did I say I was done with you?"

[starry-bi-sky]

im dedicating this to @detectivedarling. i felt inspired after seeing their little ficlet yesterday sadhjfl 🫶

-

Danny's grip on his cane tightens.

"What—"

His voice cracks. He stops, clears it, then tries again in spite of the nausea twisting in his gut. "What are — you, uh, watching, Bruce?" He sounds horribly far away.

Bruce doesn't look at him, his attention laser-focused on the screen. Which is— fine. It's usually not a problem, Bruce gets like that when he hyper-focuses on a case, and unless it's urgent — or he's been at it for hours — Danny sees no need to pull him away from it. He likes the quiet camaraderie they have, it's companionable and unique to the two of them.

He wishes he was right now though. Looking at him, that is.

That way he wasn't watching what was clearly one of Danny's ghost fights. One of the nastier ones, if the collateral damage and rubble on the street is of any indication.

Danny tries to remember which one that is. He shuffles a little closer to the desk, ignoring the rock in his stomach or the ugly weightlessness in his arms. It's not the blood blossoms, that much he knows. He just recently had an injection so it shouldn't be bothering him this soon—

So it's just nerves. Perfect.

Most footage of his fights are— messy, at best. Unusable at worst. Amity Park was obsessed with appearing 'normal' when they first started happening, and typical news stations censor the worst of the fights anyways for publishing, since they can get pretty gory at times. And ghosts move too fast to be caught on regular standard cameras, not including distance and light and—

That is to say— finding usable ghost fight videos is hard.

Danny wonders how Bruce got his hands on this one, and then stops wondering.

The audio is muted, which is - good. Good, because the fight is ugly and chaotic and clearly this was taken on someone's phone. Fuck, he can't remember if he ever saw that before — clearly not. They're hiding behind an overturned car, and Danny grits his teeth so he doesn't tell that idiot to run.

The camera turns up, and focuses on two figures in the air. It takes a few seconds, but when it does, Danny gets hit with a wave of vertigo. His grip tightens and he leans heavily on his cane, he waits for the black dots to disappear.

He- uh, he remembers this fight now. Uh, sort of.

He remembers being twelve at the time, and he remembers some of the injuries he got out of it. His eyelid spasms abruptly. This ghost wasn't one of his regulars, so he doesn't remember whatever name they had, barely remembered what they looked like up until- uh. Now.

Was he always that small? Well— Phantom's never been particularly big, perks of being a dead kid, but— it's - different. Seeing it from an outsider perspective. Was he that small? Or is it just because he's wearing a jumpsuit clearly too big for him that casts the illusion of being small?

Doesn't really - matter. Now. He can't access his ghost form, and he already knows the answers to his appearance.

Phantom is clearly bleeding, viscous and violently green like the bubbles of a lava lamp, clutching onto a limp shoulder that's missing an arm from the elbow down. Half his face is drenched in similar blood, the eye on the drenched side is closed — not because he can't see through the ectoplasm.

Danny's memories of that fight slowly come in a bit clearer. Right. He took a pole to the eye in that one. That had - hurt. A lot. Getting an eye gouged out usually does. It and the missing arm took hours to grow back.

He rubs his eye with his palm for no other reason than it itches.

The other ghost isn't untouched of any injury either, but he's not in a state of dismemberment like Phantom is.

Danny drops his gaze down at Bruce, whose sitting in his chair with his hands threaded together, looking so tense that Danny half expects to meet solid steel if he were to touch his back. His face is - blank. Terribly blank, with an intensity in his eyes that Danny doesn't see often.

He looks terribly distressed.

He opens his mouth, and finds that nothing comes out. His throat is thick with an ugly, tar-like feeling that makes his eyes sting. Kinda reminds him of when someone wraps their hands around your throat and presses. He closes his mouth, then tries again.

"B—" hhhhhh, "Buzz."

Finally Bruce looks at him, one hand slaps the space button on the keyboard, and the video pauses. His expression doesn't shift, but there's a weight in the lines of his face that reminds Danny of a set of weights sagging.

He looks quite like he's grieving something.

Bruce opens his mouth, his voice comes out terribly soft and heartbroken: "He looks like you."

Which is— a terrifying sentence in and of itself. One that makes Danny's legs shake and ignite his ragged, poison-chewed nerves alight with the need to run. An instinctive urge to deny, deny, deny.

How could he? He could say, that's a ghost, Bruce. I'm not a ghost. He could crack a joke, and ask, 'do I look dead to you?' or say something about how he knows that his parents studied ghosts, but that didn't make him one.

He could say that, and he could say it knowing full well that Bruce would see right through it. He'd probably let Danny too.

Danny closes his eyes. They sting, you see? So does his nose, right in the back like someone popped him in the face. And his throat is thick and gross and like someone stuck a spider, the big fat tarantula kind, right down into his esophagus.

He breathes in — through his mouth, because his nose stings and so it'd be best not to irritate it further with air — and it's terribly shaky and uneven. But it clears a pathway to his lungs big enough for him to say — whisper, really:

"You know, I think you're the first person to notice that."

[untilwereallfree]

TLDR: Obviously the article is right that none of this should drive people to fascism. But it is an anti intellectual exercise in letting capitalism off the hook.

I recommend the book The Righteous Mind, for reasons people don't pressure their own best interests (though I don't agree with its ultimate ideological conclusions), and the Contrapoints videos on J. K. Rowling and Envy, for resentment politics, reactionary movements, and cruelty. If you want something well articulated and that has sources. And you know what? Caliban and the Witch. Good points about many related topics.

Statista is always questionable, because they actively hide their own sources (exit polel) and I didn't see the described exit poll numbers in widely reported data.

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-elections/exit-polls

https://www.cnn.com/election/2024/exit-polls/national-results/general/president/0

There's also stuff that just doesn't seem to be sourced?

While I would argue living paycheck to paycheck is voluntary after a certain income, and it may be technically true that "most" Americans don't live paycheck to paycheck, it's a little silly to act like it's made up when it is still ~ a quarter.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/paycheck-to-paycheck-definition/

Also not sure what they mean by saying the median American has savings. How much? According to who? Again, ~ a quarter have less than $1000 saved.

Newsweek is not the most solid source, and their source is paywalled. Everywhere else I see says the question

https://bankingjournal.aba.com/2024/08/survey-one-in-four-americans-have-less-than-1000-in-savings/

I also don't see evidence the "average" American thinks Democrats are liberal. This article says it's 47%.

https://www.newsweek.com/democrats-liberal-voters-poll-1829683

https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/newsweek/

Newsweek isn't the most solid, and the other sources I see describe the question more as asking if the party is liberal, not "too" liberal, meaning that people who are saying it is may see it as a negative or a positive. A slim majority of Democrats consider themselves liberal as of 2020 (this seems to have been the furthest left option).

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/short-reads/more-americans-view-the-democratic-party-as-liberal/

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/01/17/liberals-make-up-largest-share-of-democratic-voters/

Median household income (unsourced) seems to be correct.

https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2024/demo/p60-282.html

I can't find a 2024 source for the median income of Trump voters. In 2016, it was $72,000, and median US income was $56,000, at least according to this article, which links its source a little below, but that link unfortunately seems to be dead. Median was $61,000 for Clinton and Sanders in that election.

https://www.ft.com/content/6de668c7-64e9-4196-b2c5-9ceca966fe3f

Comparing this to global income without describing how the comparison is done is not even a factual claim, it's baseless rhetoric.

https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-us-recovery-from-covid-19-in-international-comparison/

It's not clear who the article thinks is the US's peer, or in what specific way we've recovered fast, so I'm going to pull up global info on economic recovery from covid.

This seems to be true, and I suspect due to similar pricing, this article in fact have lightly plagiarized Brookings by not citing it was their source.

If I'm reading this article correctly, we have recovered to pre-Covid, but not pre-recession, numbers.

As for wages keeping up with inflation, this seems to be somewhat true at absolute best. They've been rising, but adjusted for inflation, they're just kind of keeping up.

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/economy/inflation-higher-biden-rising-pay-makes-rcna158569

https://www.epi.org/publication/charting-wage-stagnation/

UK job seeker pay numbers are approximately correct, but they're not compared to the US, which is ridiculous. It is also important to note that in the UK, you might get any number of other benefits and support as well. I won't approximate these numbers, and I'm not approximating the numbers for SNAP either. The US pays anywhere from $10 to $974 (though this source isn't the best), depending on which state you're in, and how rich you were before. I can't imagine someone getting $10 thinking £71.70 is "preposterously low." Maybe they only spoke to rich Americans. Unemployment lasts 12-26 weeks, depending on the state. Job seekers lasts 26 weeks.

https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance

https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits

https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance/eligibility

https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/unemployment-benefits-by-state

https://www.cbpp.org/research/economy/how-many-weeks-of-unemployment-compensation-are-available

https://www.cbpp.org/research/economy/how-many-weeks-of-unemployment-compensation-are-available

Many US stages still have a minimum wage of $7.25, because that is the federal wage. The minimum wage in the UK is more complicated, but it is currently £11.44 naturally for workers over 21. Their exceptions include trainees and prisoners. Ours include tipped workers (though the employer must make up tips to the minimum wage), some trainees, and people with disabilities, who can be paid by calculating what fraction of a non-disabled person they're worth. Neither country requires minimum wage for prisoners.

In the UK, you also get free healthcare, and if you do have to go out of pocket, my experience has been that you pay much, much less. There are more comprehensive comparisons out there, but I personally paid £80 for a drug that in the US costs $775.

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/minimum-wage/state

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/minimum-wage/faq

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/39-14c-subminimum-wage

https://www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage-rates

https://www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage/who-gets-the-minimum-wage

The average barista makes $15.23 (~31,67.00y) They earn approximately the same in the UK at £12.30 ($15.28 as of Feb 11, '25), (~£25,584y, or $31,700y as of Feb 11, '25). As for doctors general practitioners are paid $152,649 in the US, and £73,791 in the UK. A massive difference, yes, but not barista money in either case.

https://www.indeed.com/career/barista/salaries

https://uk.indeed.com/career/barista/salaries

https://www.indeed.com/career/general-practitioner/salaries

https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/pay-salary/how-much-does-a-doctor-make

Ironically, saying that Americans are bad because we're soft is kind of fascist.

It's true Americans don't care very much about economic inequality as much as other factors.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/01/09/most-americans-say-there-is-too-much-economic-inequality-in-the-u-s-but-fewer-than-half-call-it-a-top-priority/

The article then cites a podcast, which has no obvious credentials or citations. The host says in the about they have an MA in political philosophy.

https://www.politicalphilosophypodcast.com/about

There are plenty of people who discuss this reactionary tendency, so this is strange as an only source, but I am not going to listen to it right now to find out if it's appealing to any particular biases. Here, there's even a podcast as a source, and it both names the expert interviewed and cites where it got its information. In writing. On the page.

https://www.vox.com/future-perfect-podcast/386100/2024-election-trump-republican-party-reactionary

In 2023, 36.8 million people, or 11.1% off the US, lived below the federal poverty line.

https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/poverty-awareness-month.html

Yes, incumbents have been doing badly.

https://apnews.com/article/global-elections-2024-incumbents-defeated-c80fbd4e667de86fe08aac025b333f95

In early '24, 72% of Americans felt they were doing okay financially.

https://www.npr.org/2024/05/22/1252712615/prices-americans-concern-economy-inflation-expenses

Yes, the economy is not in recession, because a recession hasn't been declared. There is money being made. "The top 10% richest households owning 93% of this public equity wealth." A recession is the way to describe the economy being bad that most people know. The term for when the economy is good, but only for the rich, I'm pretty sure that's just called capitalism. People aren't stupid for thinking the economy is bad. For most people, it is.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/dereksaul/2024/05/22/no-were-not-in-a-recession-but-heres-why-many-americans-feel-like-we-are/

https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/investing/are-we-in-a-recession

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/12/11/americans-say-strong-economy-only-helping-the-rich.html

Describing reactionary politics as reactionary is not taking away agency from regressive movements, and that is a baffling thing to assert. It doesn't make being a regressive and a fascist not the person's own responsibility. Being a reactionary is a political stance you can choose not to take.

Being reactionary does not necessarily refer to overall goals, but it is easy to see how certain goals are selected at a given moment as a reaction to civil rights. This is the basics of examining a moral panic. These reactive tactics are tools actively manipulated for the underlying project and ideal of regression.

https://www.britannica.com/topic/reactionary-movement

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/pops.12983

https://tcf.org/content/report/the-politics-of-moral-panics/

I have no idea how to fact check this unsourced and vague claim about gendering the political parties. It seems possible, but I didn't see anything actually talking about it. There is a gender voting gap.

https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-growing-gender-gap-among-young-people/

What socialist left? Who? What did they say?

Wikipedia has Umberto Eco's famous definition /g list of traits. Including the contempt for the weak I called out in this very article. Regressiveism is also a key identifying factor. It's actually the entire first two. Appeals to populism as well.

The second link is the whole essay.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ur-Fascism?wprov=sfla1

https://archive.org/details/umberto-eco-ur-fascism

Pretending the current rise of fascism isn't part of a pattern is so anti-intellectual it might as well be propaganda.

https://vcresearch.berkeley.edu/news/fascism-shattered-europe-century-ago-and-historians-hear-echoes-today-us

The US may not like socialism, not they may also not know what it is. Supporting socialist policy but saying you hate socialism is a sign of being uninformed, not that socialism is doomed. It may be. Just price it better. 20% of the US thinks autocracy would be a good system, and 12% think the same about military rule. Only 82% of the US even likes democracy, and 49% percent for unexpected experts. They would rather have an unelected expert than an autocrat, but not by as much as one might hope. 36% of the US sees socialism positively, compared to capitalism at 57%. That's being down, but I think we'd all agree the pro autocracy wave has a chance.

https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2024/02/28/attitudes-toward-different-types-of-government-systems/

https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2022/09/19/modest-declines-in-positive-views-of-socialism-and-capitalism-in-u-s/

It seems like the argument is "Americans are selfish and entitled and don't deserve what we have, much less more equality" which is baffling from someone who just said socialism is unappealing. "You get what you get and you don't get upset" isn't a good lesson to teach children. It's certainly not radical progressive praxis.

Conflating delivery drivers with minimum wage workers with doctors is blatantly dishonest. "Currently, $7.09 per hour is the average pay for a food delivery worker in NYC." It's going up to $19.96, which is $41,516. IF you live in NYC. I believe this is part of graduated minimum wage pay raises that are now being applied to these workers. Elsewhere, delivery drivers may make much less.

Seems like autocratic contempt can be a historical pattern, and not "just stuff that happens." I wonder why that is. It's certainly not explained or sourced.

Oh it is just propaganda. Are they claiming that liberalism makes you immune to that?

"Balancing individualism and social obligation in careful tension immunizes the ideology’s adherents to the worst pathologies of prosperity. A rich liberal is often a preposterous creature; vain, overly impressed by their own intellect, affected in their politics, and more than a little hypocritical. But they are still light years away from the enthusiastic ignorance, performative cruelty, and zealous nihilism that await us in liberalism's absence."

Who was it who said people are becoming conservative not because they want to be rich but because they want to be mean? That shit was spot on

[girl-lostconnection]

Hello!!!

I’ve been reading your works for a while and I’m hyperfixating adore you’re writings! So I saw this Red Bull ad during the Super Bowl and the penguin reminded me of Soap. Could I please humbly request hybridpenguin!Soap x reader fluff/comfort/romance/head canons anything really. I think you can bring this idea to life :3

It’s your lucky day cause I’ve been watching “Good luck Chuck” and there are some penguins that caught my eye. So I’ve been thinking about it whole day, googling penguins because I honestly don’t know much about them.

I chose Adelie Penguin for Soap because the blue-eyed stare this birds have is perfectly uncanny (I urge you to google them, they stare right in your soul) and also, they have very interesting courting rituals.

Also the wiki page for them said, I quote: “Despite their size, Adélie penguins are known for their bold and boisterous personality and will challenge other animals, including predators far larger than them.” And that reads like canonical Soap, because yeah, he would. Bold personality is right up this man’s alley.

But imagine hybrid Adelie Penguin!Soap and human Reader where he tries so fucking hard to court you properly but you don’t know jackshit about courting methods.

Male Adelie Penguins offer female penguin the perfect stone, polished to perfection, they spend quite some time looking for the best one and once found — they present it as a courting gift. It depends purely on the female penguin whether to accept courtship or not.

But if she does they can start mutual courting involving leaning closer to each other, grooming each other, familiarising with how each other sound — it helps them later to find the mate in the big crowd.

So Soap knows that maybe it would have been better to go with flower or something more conventional but he likes you, god, he really does. So there’s no harm in looking for a pretty stone for a pretty you, right?

Right?

Man spends his whole leave on Scotland’s shores, practically on all fours as he picks up decent stones, washes and polishes them at home before throw them all out because no. All wrong. Not prettty enough, not smooth enough, not shiny enough.

No mate would accept a shite like that, why would he even bring this ugly thing to your attention? What kind of potential mate would he be?

He returns to his searches even more determined. Soap will be damned if he comes back and he still doesn’t have a perfect stone for you.

And finally, luck smiles at him and dedication pays off — the perfect prettiest little stone he has ever seen. Smooth from cold waves, shiny in a way that makes you want it touch again and again, perfectly round. No ridges or bumps, no sharp edges or cracks.

Perfect stone for perfect you.

He returns feeling victorious and on top of the world and presents you with a stone without a second word. Quite literally he just extends his hand and there lies the stone. He doesn’t say anything, he’s just waiting for your reaction

And you have no fucking idea what’s going on, because the man is staring you in the eyes with his ungodly blue eyes and a little stone on his palm and you’re like…okay?:,) alright?🥹

So you take the stone to look closer (Soap tenses up like you have his heart in your hands, eyes hungry on you, still waiting for your reaction) and truth be told, it is a really nice stone. Shiny and smooth and perfectly polished. The kind of stone you’d want to fumble with all day, just rolling through the palm, massaging the center of your palm with it as you work.

It is a bloody lovely stone. You really like it.

But Johnny is not saying it, still watching you with the same hungry look, it’s just that now his grin is widening slowly because you look like you really like the stone. He did a good job, right? There’s no way you found his courting gift lacking.

And it is a perfect stone but the thing is…you don’t know if it’s a gift to you or if penguin part of Soap is simply showing off (crow!Simon does similar things when he brings you shiny stuff). So you don’t know if you are at liberty to keep the shiny pebble.

And Johnny is still completely fucking silent watching you with bated breath.

You carefully place the stone back in his palm, murmuring softly that it’s a very lovely stone, it looks incredible and you think it is absolutely gorgeous.

Soap stares at the stone for a few very long moments, his grin slowly fading because…don’t- don’t you like the stone, hen? You just said it’s gorgeous, but you are giving it back. Why are you giving it back?

He stares at the stone, absolutely crest-fallen in the face because he was so sure you’d like it. He was so proud of it and so excited to give it to you and of course there is no pressure for you to take it, after all it’s gift for you and you shouldn’t just settle for things.

But still.

What was wrong with it? Was there a crack he didn’t notice or is the texture of it not to your liking? Maybe you prefer sharper stones, maybe you like some roughness to them?

He looks back at you, feeling upset and anxious, stone still in hand while you try to gauge what the hell caused the reaction. Because Johnny is looking at you like you just kicked him in the stomach and you don’t know why.

“Ye didnae like it, hen?”, he swallows his pride and asks because obviously, you didn’t, what kind of fucking question is that. Mate just returned his gift back to him, means that gift is not up to standards.

You blink at him slowly, because what is he even talking about.

“I liked it. It’s really pretty. Where did you get it?”, you try to steer conversation away, since maybe there’s something you don’t seem to get about the stone.

“Why- ye didnae take it”, Soap’s voice is unusually soft, as he tilts his head to the side, stone clutched in his hand as some anxiety bleeds out of him.

Maybe he can still salvage it.

“Was it for me?”, the question leaves him now being the one who gives you a slow blink, before his gears kick in, realisations slowly creeping up his head. So that’s what was wrong.

“Aye”, stone returns to your palm, gets pressed into it by Johnny’s — warm and smooth — your heart skipping a beat. “If ye like it, Ah’d be happy if ye took it. But ainlie if ye like it, hen”

There’s a weight to this moment that you aren’t sure you capture fully but there’s something in Soap’s eyes that makes your fingers intertwine with his, head leaning closer to him. You are so close you can see the tiniest freckles on his cheeks.

Pretty.

“I really like it”, admitting it feels like you are ten again and sharing a silly secret with a boy you like, but Johnny looks at you like he couldn’t be happier.

His throat bobbing when you lean in closer, small shiver going down his spine because it’s really happening. His gift is accepted, his mate is accepting him — holding his hand, leaning into him, looking at him like that.

Best day of his life, truly.

So he presses a short tight kiss to your temple and nods at you like there is a shared understanding between you two now. Like you are partners in crime.

Soap practically jogs away, excitement evident in every step, shoulders spread out proudly. He fucking did it. He got the perfect stone for perfect you and you accepted it.

Now, the courting can really begin.

(It will take you an evening of google searches before you understand the meaning of the stone and why the hell, Soap is helping with your hair routine/skin care routine/nail polishing and even offers to “wash with the penguin, save the water, hen”)

[unsuitablepet]

i've noticed you're Canadian, and as an incredibly terrified american, are you guys getting news that war is actually likely? our news and search engines are being heavily censored, i actually cannot find anything past 2024 about possible war. i'm reeling that it's possible, but i wouldn't put it past the orange fuck. i am so sincerely sorry for that cockalorum.

Hey! First of all, thanks for reaching out, and I'm sorry to hear you're terrified. We are also terrified to hear that your news is being censored. As I'm sure you can imagine, now more than ever, we want Americans to be aware of our situation and what's going on up north.

In terms of whether our news is saying war is likely... that's hard to answer. Truthfully, our news sources take a bit of a different tone than yours, for the most part. We're very avoidant of absolutes until things are certain, and our journalists (the respectable ones) tend to avoid alarmist rhetoric - at least compared to the kind of reporting and headlines we often see from many (still very respectable!) publications in the States.

So, what I'll say is this: in short, no. I have not seen any explicit reporting that war is imminent. However, there have been a lot of signals that a Big Bad is coming, and that's what a lot of us have been deducing from that. Here are some examples:

PM Justin Trudeau called a summit with most of our major industry leaders, informing them that Trump's annexation threats were very real and that we needed to start preparing.

Following that meeting, he flew to Europe to meet with several EU leaders to strengthen alliances and met with the Secretary-General of NATO for apparently similar discussions.

On a potentially related note, CSIS (our version of the CIA) released a foreign interference intelligence report to Parliament on Jan 28, most of which has not been made available to the public. However, I’ve seen some reporting that the United States was one of the countries mentioned as trying to interfere in our elections, and that the government’s response could be read as a silent invocation of NATO Article 4.

Perhaps most telling of something bad to come: our leaders are reaching across the aisle more than I've ever seen. Trudeau has been meeting with our premiers often, and outside of the numbnut in Alberta, they’ve unanimously come together to work on plans that prioritize Canada. We're hearing some of our most despicable, power-hungry conservatives advocate for Country Over Party and Country Over Province, willingly working with Trudeau—whom not even a month ago they treated like the most egregiously offensive man who ever lived—in supporting his plans to push back on Trump.

Our most conservative, openly pro-Trump candidate for the next election (Pierre Poilievre) is adding the establishment of a new military base and an Arctic defense strategy to his platform.

All candidates have been talking about increasing military spending.

Finally, all of our economic conversations have been focused on trade diversification and expanding internal manufacturing capabilities. We just signed a massive trade deal with China—something we had been refusing to do primarily because of our allegiance to the United States as our ally, which has now clearly been broken.

So yeah. Nothing overt, but it's not looking good.

On the ground, regular people (at least where I live) have been talking about war as if it's a real possibility and discussing what they'd do. Overwhelmingly, people are willing to stand up to this if it comes to it.

War aside, I've never seen anti-American sentiment run so high in this country. It's truly terrifying. People—on the right and left—are buying Canadian and boycotting American products. People are selling their American vacation homes, canceling travel to the U.S. (and those still taking their American vacations are being called traitors in some circles). Companies are ripping up American contracts. Stores are pulling American products off the shelves. And then, of course, there's the booing.

I know this seems grim, but I want to be honest with you. Our nations' relationship has been irrevocably harmed. There is no world where we go back to how it was before—whether or not Trump is gone—because we simply can't trust we won’t be put in this position again. And honestly—no offense to you, your ask was very polite, and I truly sympathize with every American who is as appalled by this as we are—I don’t think Canadians would feel this strongly about “never going back” if it weren’t for the response we’re seeing from American people online and American media.

Initial reactions to these threats were outright dismissal... of a threat to our sovereignty. Then, it was met with jokes and condescension, with late-night hosts chalking it up to picking a fight with your lapdog ally (literally, Jon Stewart called us golden retrievers), and people online treating it like just another crazy Trump-ism. Which is, again, a) not an appropriate reaction to a threat to a country’s sovereignty, and b) a complete dismissal of the real-time effects we're already feeling from this. The Canadian dollar dropped CONSIDERABLY in value the day the tariffs were announced. Just look at the USD:CAD forex charts and see how fucking stupid it looks since Trump took office.

And then, finally, we keep being met with either MAGA idiots who double down on the threat and tell us about how they can't wait to annex us/invade us and how we don't stand a chance against your military, or we're met by well-meaning but ultimately self-centered Americans who didn't vote for Trump and seem to be looking for us to absolve them and confirm we know they, in particular, didn’t do this. Which, like, okay, but how does that help anything? And really, should you be turning to us for comfort in this moment? This might sound dramatic, but literally go to the comment section of any Canadian creator, and you'll see this playing out there. It's aggressive and overwhelming, and you can’t blame Canadians for feeling like we can't count on you (again, en masse—not you specifically) to have our backs.

That said, the Canadian people and the Canadian government still truly sympathize with Americans—and immigrants in America (documented or not)—who did not choose this and are being impacted. We really, truly, and deeply appreciate Americans like you who are seeking out our voices, seeing through the noise, and trying to stay informed.

So, with that in mind, to help with the root of your question regarding news sources... first, I would recommend getting a VPN. I think your online experience would greatly improve. Second, there are a few Canadian sources you can go directly to, like our national broadcaster, the CBC.

Personally, I also enjoy following some left-leaning creators on TikTok, most of whom are journalists. I just try to be careful to keep their biases in mind and do my own follow-up research/think critically about what I hear. Here are a few of my favourites: Kat Arnett - she's a photographer but she used to be a political journalist. She's been pretty great at talking about how Canadians have experienced all of this.

KnittyKnits - she's a progressive (I'd say left but not far left) creator based in Alberta and she covers a lot of Canadian news.

Contra Tenore - He's a left-wing creator who I personally feel has a fairly pragmatic approach to analysis. He's VERY supportive of our left wing party (The New Democratic Party or 'NDP') and he's been talking a lot about this situation with the U.S. He doesn't mince words, though, and sometimes his videos are a little hard to take.

Cole.NotCole - He's probably my favourite starting point for a lot of my research right now. He gives short summaries of the day's news. He's sort of our Aaron Parnas but less problematic and less priviledged. He has a Liberal (center-left) leaning lens, but I don't personally feel he editorializes too much.

JB|Canadian Politics - Overtly progressive, but great political updates in my opinion - bias or no bias. He's been engaging Americans a lot during this whole thing in really interesting ways.

Unlearn16 - They're an extremely progressive high school history teacher (or maybe social studies?). I've really enjoyed their content covering all of this. They do a great job of breaking down the impact of political maneuvering and spelling out historical contexts.

Anyway... I hope this helps! And thank you again for asking. It really does mean a lot to see people seeking out Canadian perspectives at this time.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Now that all the main cast's unique magic has been shown, can you make a ranking on your favorite unique magic from most to least favorite? Would be favorite unique magic from each dorm but felt some feels unfair especially Ignihyde when Ortho is confirm unable to have his own. You can include the other characters like Chenya, Rollo, Skully, and Fellow.

Originally I was gonna ask about your top favorite dreams, overblot boys' dream outfit, and chapter 7 SSRs (excluding the main Diasomonia uniforms), but there is chance there will be more dreams in upcoming chapter since some people theorize that we might see both Silver's and Malleus's now that Ace's UM is shown. Even a possibility of Silver having an SSR card. So I will be holding this question once chapter 7 is over.

[For a complete compilation of known unique magic (including name, incantation, first use, effects, and limitations), check out this post!]

To briefly explain what is mentioned in the second ask and the second paragraph of first ask, some fans theorize that with Ace’s new UM (which seemingly allows him to borrow, copy, or swap UM with a target?), he could use Malleus’s magic against him or on other characters too. This could potentially allow us to see his dream and/or Silver’s. As far as I could tell it though, there doesn’t seem to be a purpose for doing this provided by theorists yet.

Aaand with that aside, here’s my personal ranking of the UMs, with explanations for each below. It’s not numerical, but rather tiers. This is primarily based on how practical or fun I think the UMs would be to my daily life, NOT based on power level or some other metric.

“Useful overall”

Snake Whisper/Snake Charmer — At the risk of sounding slightly unhinged, this would make life in general easier. Shockingly few drawbacks or limitations too. (Big surprise, the person who says they are similar to Jamil puts Jamil’s UM as at the top…)

I See You/Arrow Afar — As someone that easily gets lost while traveling and easily loses things, this UM sounds like a godsend. Just tag whatever you want to locate and you’re good to go!

Far Cry Cradle — The idea of experiencing stories by touching a random object is so fascinating. Endless entertainment but could also help with answering questions. Bonus: reminds me of the Dimensional Scream from the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorers games.

“Fun to experiment with”

Doodle Suit/Paint the Roses — The simple act of being able to change the smell, taste, or texture of something would make dietary restrictions so much easier to deal with. Other applications would be nice for comfort too, like adjusting the perception of brightness or loudness just for yourself in a group setting like a movie or concert. (There’s some ominous fan works and theories about Trey being able to use his UM to overwrite others’ emotions or thoughts too, but I’m only sticking to what he is shown to be capable of in canon.)

Split Card — I’d wanna see how many clones can be made at once and what each is physically and mentally capable of. (awe already know the magical power of the original and the clones goes down, so what about other parameters?) Useful for multitasking.

Joker Snatch — It's basically the same has having multiple UMs. Would fuck around and find out what this sucker is capable of. :9

Fairest One of All — Such a flexible and customizable UM, honestly. You can basically set whatever conditions you like, just be careful about the wording because the curses get pretty locked in.

Meet in a Dream — The idea of hopping around dreams and seeing what weird shit goes on in people's heads sounds so fun! Then you can embarrass them about it in the waking world :>

Not All My Head —Ultimate stealth... You can bypass into some of the most secure places in the world just for the lols 🤣 or, y'know... sneak into the kitchen to steal some snacks or something.

“Messing with the forces of nature because fuck you, that’s why”

King’s Roar — Could be used for a fight, but also to clear an area. What's that? Destruction of nature/property? Potential for murder? IT'S OKAY, JUST BREATHE IN THE SAND PARTICLES FLUTTERING IN THE BREEZE AND DON'T CHOKE :))

Oasis Maker — Need clean water to drink? BOOM. Want to water your garden? BOOM. Making a random swimming pool? BOOM. Maximum output for minimum effort.

Fae (of) Maleficence — You become a literal god of time and space. Scary amount of potential for control.

“The trail mix where I pick out the bits I like and leave the gross stuff in there”

Laugh with Me — Not really useful unless for small pranks or you + the target are in a convenient location already (since you'd have to take steps forward to get the target to do the same).

Sleep Kiss/Crimson Slumber — Can be protective (but can't seem to be cast on the self, only on others). Also useful to put people to sleep. Would like to use to send my pet or loud neighbors to sleep early instead of staying up late and bothering me :v

Living Bolt — Very good for an extra boost of speed and/or power if in a rush or in a desperate situation. Unfortunately comes with electrical side effects so that's... not optimal.

Scary Night — Basically Off with your Head but also limits your movement, so I consider it an upgrade with applications besides just combat. Wonder what happens if you cook with those pumpkin’d people or smash the pumpkin on the ground… Is that instadeath? Gruesome to think about, but unsure of since we see so little of the UM in action.

“Requires rizz”

It’s a Deal and Life is Fun — Same reasoning for both; takes a certain amount of charisma to pull these UMs off and if you lack that then this magic sucks. Would be useful if you did have these characters’ sway though.

“Fistfighting central”

Off with your Head — Could shut down a hostile party’s magic, but if you’re not as trigger happy as Riddle is then how often would you realistically use this? And if the target has no magic then this basically does nothing.

Bet the Limit/Double Down — Assuming you’re not already dead from the blows you’ve already eaten and/or you can aim properly and get that shot in before you wipe??? Okay, sure 😂

Bind the Heart — Only deflects magical blows. Physical hits will still pass. Would get my ass beat anyway.

Dark Fire — Primarily useful only for combat, which most people don’t get up to on a regular basis. Must be a true hater or be surrounded by true haters to get the most power out of this. What happens if everyone holds hands and sings a song at you? Do you just pathetically whimper and die out in a pile of ashes/j

“Not a furry, don’t @ me”

Unleash (the) Beast — The idea of a big furry... creature... charging at me makes me want to run and hide 🤢 Could have its use for strength and speed, but… I still don’t want a massive dog around.

“This could have been an email”

Shock the Heart — Nothing a reasonable amount of blackmail research cannot do. Has so many limitations (eye contact, only one use per person, target may resist/refuse anyway, etc.) you may as well need a PhD in order to manufacture plans to effectively use this UM.

“So niche it has like no practical application”

Gate to (the) Underworld — Y-You just… open and close a door to a pit of Phantoms. Discounting opening the pit to retrieve Phantoms to test or experiment on, why would you not just keep this closed all the time and just never use this UM 💀

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Damian had watched as his family slowly unraveled after Ma's call. He didn't understand how they had taken her "you don't get to see Tim until you stop trying to use him" and turned it into "you have spent all your chances with him so you don't get to see him or talk to him ever again". Damian knew Ma had meant that they should find a way to solve their problems as adults without using Timothy as a crutch and then they could see or talk to Timothy as a part of their family instead of just based on his usefulness.

Father and Richard hadn't seen it that way. Grayson had spent the next weeks alternating between moping and getting into screaming matches with Father, then storming out of the house and disappearing for days. It was clear that he was being consumed by guilt but instead of trying to find a way to fix things, he seemed to be mourning Timothy, even when he was alive and well, just out of reach. Father had started spending more and more time in the cave. He initially seemed to be trying to bypass Timothy's security features. Once he realized he would not succeed, he had decided to start going through all his contacts, trying to get Timothy's current information. Based on his rising frustration he hadn't been successful.

They hadn't asked Damian. If they had, he probably would have called Timothy from his phone, allowing them to make contact without giving them the information. He had informed his brother of the situation and they both had agreed that that was the best course of action if it were to happen, as unlikely as it sounded. Damian had initially said he could just pretend not to have the information but Timothy had insisted that he didn't want his little brother taking heat for keeping it hidden. Not when he had Timothy there to protect him, even if from afar. Damian had reluctantly agreed. They didn't ask. They barely even noticed Damian. In those weeks they didn't acknowledge him more than a handful of times and only for a brief greeting or a hair ruffle. Alfred had taken refuge on his role as a butler and rarely stopped to talk anymore. The manor was big enough for him to have infinite places to clean and avoid his feelings. So he did.

Damian remembered the last time he had met with Timothy. They had talked. Damian had apologized for his early murder attempts and Timothy had accepted it. They talked for hours about the family dynamics and the differences between their upbringing, along with the similarities, and the cultural norms both around the league and their family. Damian could remember thinking to himself that it would have been very useful to have that knowledge when he had just arrived in Gotham. It made him regret his treatment of Timothy, even if Timothy didn't blame him for it anymore (or ever, according to their chat).

The part of the conversation Damian kept replaying in his head wasn't exactly about that. Timothy had told him about his life, both growing up without parental supervision and then becoming an emotional support Robin for the good of Gotham. He told Damian a story about neglect that didn't end when his parents died. He made sure to highlight the behaviors within the Bats that had led him into distancing himself from them and eventually realizing it was time to leave.

"i don't think they mean to, not really. They're just prone to lose themselves on the latest problem in front of them, making everything else blurry and unimportant until they completely forget about anything unrelated to what they're trying to solve" Timothy had said. "They're detectives with a puzzle. They don't know how to stop. They assume the world around them stays the same until they emerge from their current obsession and are surprised when that isn't the case, usually leading to a second deep dive into the next problem born out of neglect."

Timothy had stopped for a second then continued with a thoughtful look on his face. Damian hadn't truly realized it was for his benefit more than Timothy's. "For example, when you came to the manor, Bruce was trying to bring Jason back to the manor while keeping him in his mind as the 15 year old but he had been when he died. He couldn't figure out why it didn't work but refused to acknowledge all the changes Jason had had in the past years and therefore couldn't recognize the person in front of him with the image he previously had of his son. That's why he was so distant with you at the beginning. Dick tried to compensate for it as he usually did whenever Bruce got into one of his moods. That meant he started cancelling plans with me and switching his focus to you entirely while putting me aside, since, from his perspective, I was 'fine' and you needed him more, never even considering that a big part of that was because of the attention he was paying me or how it would affect me to suddenly take it away for no reason."

He had given Damian more examples after that. Timothy had reassured him that it wasn't his fault or his responsibility but it was still important for him to have the information and know the signs. Timothy had made him promise that if it ever got that bad for him, that he wouldn't wait as long as Timothy had or endure the neglect hoping that it would get better if he gave them enough time. He had made him promise that he would come to Timothy if it came to that. No matter what.

Knowing his decision had already been made, he started packing his bags. Only the essentials. And his animals. He couldn't trust his Father or Grayson to take care of them when they barely remembered to take care of themselves on a good day, let alone now. He called for Jon and texted the Kents. They agreed to house Batcow, Titus and Jerry on the farm. Alfred (the cat) was staying with him and he would ask Timothy about bringing Titus to live with them later.

He took a look around the room, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything. He decided to leave his finished paintings, he could always make new ones and he didn't want to travel with too many things, even if he was going via Kryptonian. He could always come back if he forgot something important (he probably wouldn't). He hesitated for a second then took the framed picture on his nightstand and carefully shoved it into his bag. It was one of the ones they had taken after Timothy had rescued Father. Everyone was in it, Brown, Cassandra, Gordon, Todd, Richard, Father, Pennyworth, Thomas, and Damian. Everyone but Tim. They looked happy. Now it also felt incomplete. Damian still took it.

He left his bags in his room and took one last lap around the manor, waiting until the last minute to put Alfred in his carrier. He didn't find anyone even though he made sure to go through their preferred spots. He was ready. He texted Jon to come pick him up. Clark was going to come by later to take the rest of his pets. He stood in the middle of the main hall and whispered a last goodbye before going back to his room and opening the window for an already waiting Jon.

🐦🐦🐦

Damian rubbed his hands on his pants and took a deep breath to gather his courage. He closed his eyes for a few seconds then knocked on the door. It opened immediately, familiar eyes watched him with a knowing sadness. Damian opened his mouth and closed it a couple times before the words finally came to him. His brother waited patiently. "Timo... Tim. Can I stay with you for a while?" Timothy smiled at him.

"Of course, Dames. Come on in. You can stay as long as you want." He stepped to the side to let him into the apartment and took his bags from him with a hug. The door closed behind them. "I'm proud of you, kid" Damian heard him whisper and felt warmth fill his chest. Yes, this had been the correct choice.

Bruce comes back from the dead and wants to make things better. Bruce comes back from the dead and Tim was the one who brought him back, so it's obviously Tim who'll know best how to help him reconnect with everyone.

It's Tim who should give him advice on how to bond with Dick. Dick has always been his idol, after all. Tim would know best how to bring him back, and he does. He gives good advice and the two of them begin to get closer.

So Bruce asks about Jason, too. Asks about how to bring his son back into the fold and Tim wished for a brief and brutal moment that it weren't so obvious who the favorite was.

Tim told Bruce to give Jason his space, to loosen his rules, and make it clear that no matter what the Red Hood did, no matter what the Batman believed in, Jason was always welcome. Bruce would always want him.

It worked. Bruce wasn't surprised. Tim was a special sort of bitter.

Bruce asked again for Damian and Tim had to push down his anger. "That boy tried to kill me," Tim wanted to say. "I hate him and I want you to hate him too so that I can remember a time when we had something in common," Tim didn't say, but he got close.

He instead told Bruce how Damian liked art and animals and loved hearing stories of the wonders of Batman.

He told Bruce just how much Damian loved being Robin. Told Bruce to tell Damian what a good Robin he was.

God bless or maybe damn him, but he did and it worked and Tim wanted to start screaming and clawing at something because that would have never worked if Tim tried it and it wouldn't have stopped Damian from cutting his line--something Bruce did not and would never know about.

Bruce asked about Babs. How should he make sure she knew that she was a part of the family? They they loved her and not just for the work she did?

He asked about Steph. How should he make sure she knew that she was more important than his rules and that, if something else should go wrong, she didn't need to run away?

He asked about Duke. He never got the chance to get to know him before leaving--not as well as he wanted to, at least. How should he let him know that he was just as much a son as everyone else? That, whether or not his parents woke up, he'd always be welcome?

He asked about Cass. How should he show her that he loves her even though he has nothing to teach her? How can he convey how much he cares about her, his first daughter?

Bruce gets brought back from time and he makes things better. He brings his family back together by following Tim's advice.

And Tim?

Tim brings his dad back from the dead and Bruce changes, becomes a better father.

Bruce changes, but not everything can.

That, Tim thinks, is why Bruce never calls Tim his son.

[short-honey-badger]

Plss make Shanks falling inlove with someone he just met but they were Shamrock runaway fiance

This one was funnnn anon. Thank you for the amazing request!

Redheads, am I right?

Pairings! Shanks x Female Reader , Mentioned! Figarland Shamrock x Female Reader

Masterlist for Shamrock and Shanks-> HERE

Shanks doesn’t know who you are or where you came from, but he does know that he wants your attention yesterday. You sit on the beach, legs splayed out in front of you, and curvy body on display as you lean back on your hands, face tilted up towards the blazing sun. You look like a dream brought to life, and the redhead wants more than anything to bow before you and worship the ground you walk on for the rest of his life, and he hasn’t even spoken to you yet.

Before he can follow his heart’s desires and act on them, he is elbowed in the ribs by his first mate. He winces and turns to glare at Benn, lips pulling into a pout.

“Stop thinking with your dick and help us unload the cargo, captain. I’m sure she’ll be right there when we get done,” Benn grumbles good naturedly, and Shanks pouts even more but does indeed tear his eyes away from where you are lounging on the beach.

You pretend that you don’t feel those vermillion eyes on your body, carefully keeping your face turned away from the redhead you can see out of the corner of your eye. You can’t believe that you’ve run into your fiance’s -ex-fiance you remind yourself- twin all the way out here in the middle of nowhere on the Grand Line. You had hoped to be done with redheads, but fate had a way of really messing with you.

It’s been three months since you escaped from Mariejois, and the sham of a marriage you would have had with one Figarland Shamrock, and those three months had been the best you’d ever had. More freedom and choice than you've ever had before. You weren’t ignorant enough to think that the Holy Knight wasn’t looking for you, but so far, he hadn’t had any luck finding you. Not yet anyway.

You sigh and reach for the book that sits on the towel beside you. You didn’t want to think about the harsh redhead right now, but it was hard not to when his literal twin wouldn’t stop making eyes at you every chance he got while he helped his crew unload cargo to be sold off in the market later on. You ignore it for as long as you can, not wanting to go back to your hotel room quite yet, and that ends up being your undoing.

Shanks turns back to the beach as soon as he is done doing his part, loping down the docks with a wave of his hand at his crew. Benn rolls his eyes but knows that there wasn't any stopping his captain when the redhead got like this, so he just left him be. Shanks hops from the wood and into the warm sands, carefully loping forward until he stands behind you, a teasing smirk pulling on his lips.

“Watcha reading?”

He laughs when you jump all over yourself, book flailing into the air, and you brace for the sharp edges to hit you only for nothing to happen. You peek your eyes open and find that your book has been caught by the same man who scared you in the first place. You snatch it back and glare at the redhead who hovers behind you, a mischievous looking look on his face as he meets your eyes.

“Something that I'm sure would go right over your head,” you snap and shift to hold the book closer to your chest, hiding away how the top you wear hardly covers your modesty. You suddenly regret allowing the sales woman to talk you into such a skimpy swimsuit when the redhead flicks his eyes down your body and you watch those vermillion eyes, so similar but so different from the burgundy ones you know, take you in with an almost revenant look on his face.

To your surprise, Shanks throws back his head and laughs, something loud and delightful that makes something in your chest light up and flutter with sudden interest. You soften your posture, relaxing in the presence of his humor.

“Yeah, you're probably right. You seem like a real smart girl,” He says and drops his head to smile at you, those eyes going soft as he points at the sand in front of you, “May I?”

You blink, taking a half second to debate if this was okay or not, before shrugging and tossing your hand at the same place, “Sure.”

Shanks smiles against and plops down, heedless of the sand that flies up to stick to his pants and his exposed shins. He can't describe the feeling that sticks in his breast now that he is by your side. The redhead has been around countless beautiful women, but there was just something about you that drew him in, something familiar and safe that he wanted to bask in for the rest of his life. He nods at the book in your hands, his smile open and friendly, “Tell me about it?”

You are once again thrown for his behavior. You are used to surly sneering and hot demands of your attention, not this innocent curiosity that Shanks seems to wield like a second skin. You lick your lips and glance down at the cover of your book, then turn it around to show the redhead.

“It’s uh called The Time Traveler’s Wife,” You begin a bit awkwardly. You’d chosen the book because it reminded you of your own dealings with the man who you had run from, what you knew would have been nothing but a problematic marriage. You explain how the main character, Henry, has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to travel through time and how his wife has to deal with his absence. It’s not a very happy book, but it had spoken to you all the same, but you weren’t about to wait around for a man who didn’t love you to begin with.

“Sounds sad, sweetheart,” Shanks murmurs when you are finished and you shrug in answer, a weary smile on your lips.

“Maybe, but it’s pretty romantic when you think about how Clare stays loyal to Henry even though he’s made her life so difficult. She’s a stronger woman than I am,” you say, and Shanks notices a distant look in your eye when you stop speaking. He can tell that there is a story there, but he doesn’t want to be rude and ask, not when he’d just met you.

“Love is a powerful thing,” he says instead and watches with a soft sort of glee as your cheeks pinken and you duck your head to look away from him. You turn your face to the waves crashing along the beach, brow furrowing for a second before it smooths away with a soft sigh.

“It can be, if given to the right person,” you say softly, and Shanks gets the impression that you are talking about yourself again, and this time, he can’t help but ask.

“Sounds like you’ve got some experience there, sweetheart. Do you wanna talk about it?”

You huff in weary amusement. You can’t help but like this redhead far more than the other one you know, that Shanks most likely knows. You find in yourself that you don’t want to keep that secret from him, and so turn, setting your book in your lap to give him your undivided attention.

“I do, and weirdly enough, you probably know him,” you say, and Shanks cocks his head, brow furrowing in confusion and waits for you to continue, “My fiance, ex-fiance really, is your twin brother, Shamrock.”

Shanks goes through a lot emotions all at once, jealousy, in knowing that his older brother had met you first, anger that his twin had obviously done something to you that caused you to run away, and relief that he had met you before Shamrock found you and dragged you back to Mariejois. He takes a moment to digest what you’ve dumped on him before ultimately shrugging and sending you a cocky smirk that makes you flush.

“Well it’s a good thing you ran into me then, isn’t sweetheart?” he drawls and boldly reaches out to curl his fingers over your cheek in a soft caress that you can’t help but lean into, “I’m much better than my brother, anyway.”

@mit-suri @sanjisleggy @nocturnalrorobin @mfreedomstuff @sordidmusings

[mejaemin]

bf!jungwon headcanons

day five of my valentine’s day countdown! ♡

wc: 1.5k

summary: self explanatory!

warnings: definitely very rushed and not proofread (you will probably find more than a few mistakes), fluff, very lovey dovey n flirty, the second to last one is very suggestive !!!

an: happy birthday jungwon !!!! one out of seven of my first loves in kpop is getting older :333 i hope it was spent full of love, here is this to celebrate !!! (adding colored text later)

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

bf!jungwon who’s drawn to your presence, gravitating towards you even without noticing

you’re both very normal about not needing to be all over each other, mutually agreeing that it’s okay to have space sometimes

however… just because you guys came to that agreement doesn’t mean you have to listen, right?

he says he’s not clingy, yet he somehow always ends up by your side

“i’m not following you, i swear! i just.. ended up here!”

you’re at a hangout with jungwon and his friends, and you’re sitting on the couch with sunoo when all of a sudden you feel a head on your shoulder. platonic skinship is common between the eight of you, so you didn’t mind, but the feeling of said person’s head nuzzling into you like a cat immediately raises a flag as to who it is.

“wonie, are you tired?” you look down at him, running a hand through his soft locks.

he looks up at you from his phone, a content smile on his face as he shakes his head. “no, i just.. actually, i don’t even know when i came over here. i think i was on autopilot. i just felt like sitting down for a little.”

you giggle before returning to your conversation with his friend. jungwon relaxes into your side, perfectly okay with just cuddling into you while you chat. the day started off as a hangout for him that you just so happened to tag along to, meaning he would be more focused on his friends (which you didn’t mind), however he still manages to find his way to you even when that wasn’t the goal.

bf!jungwon who isn’t afraid to kiss you when you’re wearing lip products

you were used to dating men who would avoid kissing you when you had something on your lips, so you avoided wearing them around jungwon, assuming he was the same

however, he’s sitting with you while you do your makeup, and he sees your entire drawer full of lip products.

pulling it open, he looks through the piles in shock.

rather than saying something problematic, all he does is ask why you don’t wear them, and letting you know he doesn’t mind having a little tint on his lips

you’re sitting at your vanity doing your makeup, and jungwon pulled a chair from the dinner table to sit with you while you do so. he’s fairly quiet throughout the routine, watching intensely in a manner eerily similar to that of a cat. every once in a while he’ll ask a question or two, nodding at your response before going back to his trance.

after a while, it falls into complete silence, save for yours and his humming to the music playing and the shuffling of your hands and various makeup products. it’s quiet but comfortable, and jungwon finds his head falling against your shoulder as he falls in and out of sleep.

eventually, you pull open your lip drawer, sifting through the products before changing your mind and shutting it. he sits up in shock at the sheer amount of products in there, gaping before speaking up. “you’re not gonna put anything on your lips?” his head tilts.

“no, i don’t want it to bother you if i kiss you.” you pinch his cheek, shaking your head.

“oh please, i don’t mind a little bit of lip gloss. come on.” he opens the drawer, looking through it before he finds a shade he likes and pulls it out, taking your chin between his hand, he applies the product. pressing a kiss to your lips he pulls away to look in the mirror, rubbing what came off onto his own lips in. he admires the look, “see? i look good with a little pink anyway.”

bf!jungwon who is reminded of you with every little thing

he may or not be a little obsessed with you…

every time he goes out, he finds something to take a photo of for you, saying something like ‘us<3’ or ‘this is so you :3’

it could be something as mundane as a strawberry, but seeing it will trigger the thought of you

he was never an impulsive spender, but once you started dating, he couldn’t help but blow his money on everything that reminded him of you

you’re minding your business, laying around at home. jungwon is out with friends, doing whatever they might do with one another while you stay home. you just weren’t up to going out, so you let him go on his own. he felt bad, but you forced him to go on the agreement that he’d send updates throughout the whole day.

he said he’s on his way back now, and when you scroll through the messages from when he was out it brings a smile to your face. he has many photos of random things like his pretzel that was shaped like a heart, and a cat shaped puddle that was on the sidewalk. many other photos were sent of stuff you liked that he saw in stores, all captioned with the same ‘:ooo’ or ‘you want this?? it’s so you !!! :3’. it was the cutest, and you told him to leave them but when your front door opened, followed by the loud noise of crinkling shopping bags, you knew he didn’t listen.

he makes his way to you, a sheepish smile on his face as he sets the bags down in front of you. he gives a haul of all your gifts, animatedly explaining why he got them. the last one is kind of strange though, as he pulls out a container of expensive strawberries.

“um.. i know we already have strawberries, but i saw them and they made me think of you, so… we have more now?” his cheeks are flushed, but you kiss right over it at his cute tendency to buy something at the mere thought of you.

bf!jungwon and his lovely shoulders <3

his shoulders are your favorite thing about him, and for good reason of course !!!

they’re perfect for resting your head on when you’re tired, and he’s always willing to give one up for you

some people never skip leg day, but he never skips shoulder day because he knows how happy they make you

seeing the definition in his shoulder muscles when he takes his shirt off too… lord

the pool party you’re having with yours and jungwon’s friends is going surprisingly well, yours and his friends mixing very well. it’s perfect, and you’re all getting along well. right now you’re at the outdoor table with your friend and sunghoon under the umbrella, talking about god knows what when you see jake and jungwon reach for the water guns. the older fills his up, and your boyfriend begins removing his shirt before following suit.

“yeah, and it’s so dumb because why would…” you trail off, zoning out at the sight before you.

his back is to you, muscles flexing as he pulls his shirt over his head. your mouth falls open without you realizing, your eyes trailing over every chiseled line and divot in the muscles in his back and shoulders. his skin is smooth, glistening under the sun. you’re brain is already turning to situations where he’s over you, and your nails leave dark red lines across the smooth skin, drawing blood as he…

sunghoon’s hand waves over your face, completely unamused at you. “save the heart eyes for after we go home please, god.. and i thought i was bad with the zoning out..”

bf!jungwon who wants nothing but time with you for his birthday <3

it’s a little corny, but when you ask him what he’d like for his birthday the only thing he says is that he wants you!

no gifts, no material things, only you to hold and love on

of course he’s grateful for whatever you buy him anyway, taking the best care of his gifts

but his favorite is you being by his side for what he hopes is forever

jungwon’s bedhead is ridiculous as he sits up in your shared bed, the blanket falling to reveal his bare chest. you sit down on top of the sheets, leaving kisses all over his face and lips before setting down his gift bags next to him. you also have a miniature cake, decorated with paw prints and cats.

“happy birthday wonie!!! i know you said no gifts, but i can’t help it.. i went to the store and just went crazy!”

you stick the candle in the cake, lighting it before singing to him. his smile is bright, albeit tired, as he enjoys your voice. once done, his eyes shut, and he blows the candle. when his eyes open, he swipes a finger through the cake to eat.

“thank you so much, lovie, this is all so amazing.. you know what i wished for, though…” he whines, putting the cake down in the nightstand to pull you into his arms and onto the bed.

“hmm, do i?” you giggle.

“yeah, you do.. all i wanted to do was spend it with you, y’know? you didn’t have to spend any money… just stay with me, right here…” he hums, already getting sleepy. you don’t mind, giving him what he wants, you, and more simply because you can’t help it.

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[lewdlepoodle69]

Elster with a metaphor problem. (A metaphor for what? It is lost to me...)

I feel like I'm getting better with achieving what I have in mind when I start a drawing, and this is one of those so I don't really feel like there's much to say. Though this was definitely a more ambitious composition than what I'm used to I suppose. I can see technical improvement in a lot places but some things look wonky to me for reasons I am yet to understand (it's perspective stuff, ugh)

I love environments that are lit with sickly green fluorescence, and I’ve done something with a similar colour scheme in the past that I still love, and I wanted to explore that again. I could've left out the red in the foreground to emphasise that, but It's Signalis, I'm obligated to put ominous red light in somewhere. I also had the idea of overlaying a sketch of Elster at some point but the composition just wouldn't allow it, but it looks really good so I have included it.

I'm definitely finished with this, but I don't know how I feel about it yet. I can recognise that it turned out good technically but feel like I lost the sense of emotion at some point. I'm sure I'll find it later. I'm sure the me who started the sketch would be proud of how it turned out. I am going to now read some books and let it be and we shall see how I feel later.

[hellsquills]

I think he'd have the most impressive and unexpected list of languages ever

BIG rant ahead this got too out of hand lol

He knows how to speak fluent Spanish because of the time he spent in Latin America, and he has the weirdest combination of insults from every country that he uses interchangeably (he learns which accent and expressions belong to each country so he doesn't sound like such a gringo).

Italian is easy enough. Not only because it's very similar to Spanish, but also because New Jersey is the "Little Italy" of the US (LOADS of Italian descendants there). He knows a good bunch of words, and he can hold his own in a conversation.

French is tricky but it's great for business. Idiots will buy anything that sounds luxurious and pretentious, and nothing screams that louder than French words.

Brazilian is also similar to Spanish, and even though he never went to Brazil, he loves the culture. He meets some Brazilian people at underground dancing shows and learns some words, as well as a good few moves.

Back in the US, he works as a smuggler on the southeast coast, and he gets the chance to learn a few words from sailors all around Northern Europe. Norwegian, Icelandic, Finnish, Swedish... He barely knows any words, just the absolute basics, but he's able to tell them apart.

He learns the rest by living in the streets and sporadically meeting people.

He learns some Asian languages through the food first, since they have very good dishes with surprisingly cheap and easy-to-steal ingredients (rice becomes a big part of his diet since fast food is getting increasingly more expensive), and after that he learns some martial arts terms that he uses in pit fights

He learns some Slavic vocabulary from some girls he used to work with, even though none of them lasted too long (mostly Russian, Polish and Romanian)

He learns German from a mechanic he did some work for, who used to work at a car factory back in Düsseldorf

He learns Darija from a Moroccan restaurant in Georgia that would give him whatever scraps were left at the end of the day because he stole a nice pot for them once

He learns Farsi from some guys who had a car washing business and would let him sleep in their garage during bad winter nights (he worked as a car washer for free in return)

He learns some AAVE from a group of drag queens who regularly performed at the bar he worked as a bouncer for (and taught him how to do drag)

He learns some American English Sign Language from a guitar player in that same bar and their sister, who was a drummer

He also knows the military alphabet (from Shermie) and morse code (which he used with Ford while taking exams together and when their father demanded absolute silence)

Now let me make this clear: the last language book Stan picked up was back in high school. He barely knows how to write most of these languages, safe from Spanish and Italian(ish). He's learned by hearing and is able to differentiate accents, but he can't maintain a full conversation in most of them. He can, however, guess where someone is roughly from just by proximity to the languages he does know.

Additionally:

When Stan loses his memories, he has trouble remembering Spanish, and it fills him with dread, even if he doesn't know why. One day, after a bad nightmare, he wakes up only speaking in Spanish, and Ford doesn't know what to do. Luckily, he knows the young man that works with Stan speaks the language, and so they find a way to communicate until he comes back to his senses.

This happens a few times, each time with a different language. Ford misses the automatic universal translator he lost in Dimension 72TF-0. They learn how to use the text to speech on Google Translate for these situations.

Ford is really impressed with Stan's knowledge. He always knew his brother was good with languages, but he loves seeing him in action. He now has another reason to disprove Stanley when he says he's dumb; no, he isn't, because he's both street smart AND book smart.

Despite being good at languages, Ford is better at learning new slang lol. Stan gives up trying to understand the kids' weird words and just nods along.

What if Stanleh had spent more time in non-english speaking countries? Like he ends up knowing English but it's broken and unused? His main language is Spanish and he knows a bit of other Latin languages- then you get to his English and it's heavily New Jersey pre-school

[nonightingalesinberkelysquare]

WARNING FOR GOOD OMENS SPOILERS!!!!

FURTHER SLIGHT SPOILER WARNING FOR THE FOLLOWING BOOKS: The Bone Clock by David Mitchell, You Only Call When You're In Trouble by Stephen Mcauley, and Bibliomaniac by Robin Ince.

Edit: Photos by @polychromicron-persei-8 !!!!!

So I'm sure a lot of the fandom have seen the pictures posted by a very lucky fan who saw the production of good omens happening out in Scotland today!!

However what I'm not seeing people talk about is a hidden gem in the reblogs.

SOMEONE HAD MANAGED TO GET A PICTURE OF THE BOOKS IN THE WINDOW!!!

Naturally, I had to go and do my research to see if these books give us any clues or serve any other purposes other than decorative purposes

AND LET ME TELL YOU

These are the the books visible in the window:

I'll go through them one by one

(Please bear in mind, I haven't read any of these books personally!! The only information I have on them are the little bits I found online in a very rushed attempt at research!!!)

Okay firstly

"The Bone Clocks" by David Mitchell

Now, this is the one that I struggled to make sense of the most out of the three.

The story appears to follow a runaway teenage girl who is a "lightning rod for psychic phenomena." These visions are said to reorder reality and send her into a real life nightmare.

However,

It also states that there is a boy who eventually crosses paths with her and who's story "comes together in moments of grace and extraordinary wonder"

As I said, I've never read these books and the only link I could begin to make with this is the idea of a "supernatural being meets another supernatural being and what they can do when they're together defies anyone's wildest dreams" story, similar to what we have seen and could see in GO3.

The next book is where it gets FARRRR more interesting (in my opinion)

NOW

THE TITLE? INTERESTING ASF.

IS AZIRAPHALE IN TROUBLE? OR EVEN CROWLEY?

The quotes are literally taken from the amazon listing itself, but I'll just point out the bits that stuck out to me personally.

☆ "is it ever okay to stop caring for others and start living for yourself?"

And I'm skipping a HUUUUGE chunk of the story here so apologies

☆ "Tom does what he's always done - answers the call."

☆ "Thus begins a journey that will change everyone's life and demonstrate the beauty or dysfunction (or both?) of the ties that bind families together and sometimes strangle them."

THAT LAST QUOTE REALLY STICKS OUT TO ME. Personally, I'd say that could possibly relate to the heaven and hell divides?

But furthermore, we were told prior to the whole NG situation that Aziraphale and Crowley aren't talking.. so could that mean that as soon as they begin speaking once again, they have the power to leave heaven and hell behind? Perhaps stop the divides?

And last, but certainly not least

Now, keep in mind that this particular book is nonfiction and appears to be written from the authors own point of view as he aims to visit 100 bookshops in 100 days.

This has a relatively short description from what I can see right now so I'll put it in here

"Bibliomaniac takes the reader on a journey across Britain as Robin explores his lifelong love of bookshops and books - and also tries to find out just why he can never have enough of them.

It is the story of an addiction and a romance, and also of an occasional points failure."

This one interested me SO much because it SCREAMS Aziraphale character development sort of thing? You know?

I really struggled to find any spoilers for this one whatsoever but one website did mention the author's love for vintage books, which he only ever reads as and when, as opposed to focusing on just one book.

I just thought this was SO SO SOOOOO interesting, and if anybody has any differing thoughts/interpretations or has even read the books, the comment section is a safe space to do so!!! All theories/suggestions are welcomed (any hate WILL be blocked, don't test me).

OR MAYBE THIS ALL MEANS NOTHING AND IM JUST CLOWNING FAR TOO HARD?!??!??!

[terrestrialnoob]

Me, trying to contrive ways to get all of Team Phantom on/in the Justice League/Young Justice/Teen Titans: Danny and Valerie are already like, Heroes. But, Sam and Tucker are gonna take more...

*remembers Tucker is a reincarnated pharaoh* *half remembers a Justice League Unlimited episode with Hawkman and having something to do with ancient Egyptian reincarnation.*

Me: Is there any validity to that?

*does ten minutes of research on DC wikis*

Okay so, how do we feel about:

Duul Aman (Tucker Foley's previous/first incarnation) is a child king of Egypt, his kingdom is on shaky footing after the assassination of his father, but then, a pair of winged guardians fall from the heavens in a boat made of metal that prove that Aman is the rightful king. Cater and Shayera crashed on Earth accidentally and just want to go home (there is no ancient aliens-ing happening, they don't build the pyramids or take over or whatever, they're just kinda there).

Aman takes oddly well to them actually being aliens and learns their tech despite being from a pre-electricity society. Aman was already learning magic and alien technology just happens to be very similar, specifically in the mindset one needs to learn them but also a kind of "science and magic are two roads to the same destination, and double tracking is permitted" type situation. He helps them repair their ship and they help him become a good king, they even find the man who killed his father and bring him to justice. The three of them practically adopt each other.

Before the Thanagarians leave, Aman believes so wholly that these two are just meant to be his guardians and mentors, he voluntarily joins their reincarnation cycle. Every lifetime, Carter and Shayera fall in love with each other and end up befriending/mentoring/adopting Aman before the three of them are torn apart again for the cycle to continue.

I could be completely misinterpreting how the Hawk people work, I've only seen them in Justice League, so I'm not an expert in any stretch of the imagination.

[fumifooms]

Kabushuro

Kabru can fix Shuro I think. It’s cute how surprisingly similar they are...

Okay so they're a "we have similar issues" type of duo and the key word is performance.

1) They both treat socializing as a battleground, as a scripted dance there are right and wrong ways to act in, Kabru uses words and social relations as his weapon, especially as someone who was always disempowered otherwise in his life, and Toshiro from his noble background was raised in a very strict stifling way where rules, hierarchy and the importance of social cues were drilled into him. To kabru, being liked was what got him and continues to get him shelter at the island (his landlord even cleans his room for him) and what got and continues to get people to listen to him. To Toshiro, a right conduct is what gets him approval and what upholds the honor of not only him but his entire family and household, it's not just pressure but also his way to feel loved- which never worked with his dad. Kabru's dad left his mother when Kabru was born and Toshiro's father would never take interest in his sons, nothing they could do was grand and impressive enough, preferring instead to travel and horse around despite being a man of great import and military achievements. Community & social success are very important to Kabru and duty and societal approval are very important to Toshiro. Toshiro wants to fit into the expectations placed upon him and Kabru wants to wield social approval to better turn around and change these expectations and that pressure, work towards a society with less need to conform where more people can come to and find a safe home. Toshiro almost dreads his future role, while power couldn't come to Kabru fast enough.

2) They both repress themselves. While Kabru is a malleable tool to even himself, Toshiro's identity and demeanor is rigid, it's just not his own- but something he thought he had to replicate. They both suppress their true selves and their feelings to be more pleasing to the people around them and society and leave very little time for self-care. Neither have people they can truly be themselves with, Kabru not wanting to be vulnerable with anyone even his childhood friend Rin who went through similar trauma, and Toshiro having to be the honorable heir with everyone he interacts with, even feeling like he was betrayed by his mother figure Maizuru he loved when it turned out she also bent her spine for his (in his opinion) good-for-nothing father- he's constantly shadowed by his bodyguards, constantly monitored!!

Like the thing that gives them stress and that gives them validation is sorta the same (achievements & family expectations, understanding and playing people to get to goals) and like……………. Idk

They’re like. Parrot vs parakeet… They share the same cage and Kabru parrot is singing and playing with the enrichment puzzle toys and doing little dances meanwhile Toshiro is huddled in the corner quiet in a ball. Birds are stressed smart animals lol this makes sense to me.

Sooo they're both repressed guys who approach social relationships with a facade and hold the community & world's wellbeing above their own. They do have a lot of differences as well though, like how Kabru is so much more active than passive and paves his own path, meanwhile Toshiro has a hard time leading and tries much more to stay confined in the rigid structure of his life- again being malleable and adaptable vs rigid to a fault. They're both STRESSED and they both hate OPENING UP!

We see Kabru get Toshiro out of his shell a bit :) Though pushing Toshiro to be more active is something we see a couple people do in general, like how Namari dragged him into the "Asivia is causing problems in the party" pre-canon Laios party conversation. But where does this even go from there I hear you ask.

Well thankfully for us, Kabru likes figuring out people and Toshiro does crave some connection, as seen with Falin. Toshiro meeting someone not from the East who is still familiar with eastern customs (okonomiyaki for example), not enough to criticize Toshiro for doing things wrong but enough that Toshiro can relax around him. Knowing his intents get across. It’d be relaxing for Toshiro for sure to be around someone who like, gets social cues almost effortlessly. Kabru would seem to always read him so well even when he can’t express how he’s feeling and, even though it’d also be a bit (lot) scary in a feeling naked and you can’t hide anything from him way, it’d be soothing to know that literally like, that he doesn’t have to put up a front yes (because it'd be useless, Kabru sees A L L)- but also that he doesn’t have to even really communicate verbally almost, which he finds somewhat hard to do. They do still communicate very easily together though! Toshiro is good at picking up on things so he's not oblivious to Kabru's scheming and shrewdness, which makes their relationship easier to both work and be healthy imo.

They gain a sense of complicity pretty quick in canon. Chapter 32 my beloved. I love how he implicitly answers Toshiro's "Is that all?" later with Namari. He borderline opens up more to Toshiro that he's known for a couple days at most than he has to his own party he's known for years.

They just hang out and they tune to each other’s moods and the worries of the rest of the world around them melts a bit... Eventually. When Toshiro starts to actively notice things about Kabru back is when shit gets real on his end like oh... Oh shit…….

Reciprocity is so so interesting to think about especially with Kabru, always. It’s easy when it’s kind of like a play and attending to the other's every need and want just the right way, but then they want you to be part of the equation, what they want is you and not just what you offer them and suddenly it’s…… Not safe, or easy.

Thinking again about my theory that Shuro’s nightmare is just a barely exaggerated day at his house… The dread and suffocation and exhaustion of having eyes and all the weight of honor and behavior constantly follow him wherever he goes, pick his every movement apart. Benichidori style... But like, and how kabru doesn’t need Toshiro to tell him about that nightmare in specific to pick up on his less than ideal childhood. And kabru was in kind of a similar situation of feeling trapped at home by his parent too. Bonding, slowly but surely...

Kabru pulling the same strings he did on Dia’s boyfriend until Shuro’s a tearful mess (still barely holding them back). I do think he’d be a harder challenge, he’s way more repressed, less social and open and in touch with himself, unlike Dia’s fiance who’s all fiery I bet and seemdd to know what was the real issue bothering him… I think it’d be like enrichment for Kabru. Someone to get to know and it’s a lot of back and forth and mutual effort- Kabru’s very used to just, either pushing or receiving a ton in relationships, having people load their feelings and expectations onto him, reserved Toshiro would be refreshing I think. Someone who's not particularly interested in Kabru, and someone who wants to be focused on and looked at just as little as he does. It’s not like Laios where he has important motives to crack his mystery, the stakes are low he can just chill and enjoy trying to figure him out for the sake of genuine curiosity and a lil something in the air whenever they interact. They’re intriguing.

King of staying in his lane looking like a kicked puppy in his noble suit vs king of putting his nose in everyone’s business everywhere for the greater good getting to just have this thing that’s unprofessional and has no reason to be yet feels nice.

They should have regular meetups at the ramen joint, okonomiyaki trio ftw. A mutual letting down of walls in their offwork hours <3 It helps that he's already seen Toshiro at his worst I think. Kabru could even just hit him up sitting with him with a drink for a bit at the ending feast or something and they form a lil friendship :>

In a kabushuro timeline that adheres to post-canon would Toshiro live in Merini or would they be long-distance… Courting through letters and diplomatic travels as ambassadors…… Timeline where Kabru doesn’t become advisor and instead lives as Toshiro’s husband & like second head of the family is interesting… Although Kabru cares about using his politician status for change & greater good. I also do love Toshiro giving up on the heirdom too lowkey. See though the thing is that toshiro is ALSO about greater good, what he & traditions say is anyways, and it's stated that when he becomes the new head of the family things improve in the household- he's a better, more conscientious leader. Advisor x family leader kabushuro where Toshiro pushes for good Wa-Melini relations and an alliance... Every which way is neat

I need a fic where they just self-care and have a slow day hanging out together is the thing. They need a day at the spa (Toshiro needs a day playing in the mud actually but idk they can go to camping spa). Shuro takes a mud bath and realizes he’s entertaining himself by letting the mud drip from his fingers into a little pile on the rim. Even for small habits and stim he'd be super repressed I feel but finding subtle ways to stim king... Would kabru be good at massages? He 1000% knows how to massage out a knot in shoulders, it's a good way to get into people’s good graces... Kabru "I could help you to relax :)" especially if early on and he wants info/to have Toshiro as an ally. Shuro just melts into a puddle because he *really needed* a massage from someone (outside of the family). Didn’t feel like he’d have to continue performing. He knows human anatomy real well and stuff I bet if he tried he could even do acupuncture… Toshiro prob needs to get half-naked which makes him all 😖 but he gets over it and gets comfier the longer it goes on. Kabru’s satisfied/proud when he notices Toshiro’s discomfort get worn down over the minutes until he’s fully relaxed. Thank you @/saccharineomens for the brainstorm <3 God you just know they’d be in a situation where they’re sitting next to each other, having a real heart to heart, and kabru gently puts a comforting hand on Shuro’s leg while nodding sympathetically at him, and Shuro gets a little flustered at what appears to him to be a rather forward move lol.

Kabushuro eventually having the meanest gossip like just absolutely unleashing their pettiness together, I’d love to see it. They've got it in them I know it

The planning plotters...